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Old 09-11-2014, 11:46 PM   #161
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making Unregistered a sammich!

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It's been lovely but I have to scream now.
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4 users laughed. The question is: Are they laughing with you, or at you?:

Old 09-12-2014, 09:34 AM   #162
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Loved this so much I immediately got up and walked to the room my S.O. is in and laid it on him. He was very impressed...
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Slightly off topic....do we think people should get prior approval for this sort of comment theft?
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Old 09-12-2014, 09:50 AM   #163
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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming, like the people in his car.

and

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. First one says, "Boy it's hot in here." Second one says, "Holy shit, a talking muffin!"
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Clearly toilets are supposed to flush, not explode
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Old 09-17-2014, 10:56 PM   #164
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"Kleverbot kleverbot written or not, I become the temple, drinking whiskey with kleverbot." ~ Kick > Cleverbot > Bad Translator
Bang Rumpus!

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SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR DEMON FISH OR I'LL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL FOR DESSERT!!!!
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Kick's internet browser history must be quite...interesting.
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And when Kick says "fuck no" you know it's FUCK NO!
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Old 09-20-2014, 01:23 PM   #165
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This user laughed so hard that they peed a little:

Old 09-20-2014, 01:40 PM   #166
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Old 09-21-2014, 03:07 AM   #167
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What is the difference between beer and hunters? (fishers) Beer, we manage to do it without alcohol!
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Old 09-21-2014, 06:02 PM   #168
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5 users laughed. The question is: Are they laughing with you, or at you?:

Old 09-27-2014, 12:59 PM   #169
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A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."
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Old 09-27-2014, 01:04 PM   #170
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Duck walks into a bar. Says to the bar tender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." Bar tender says, "Sorry, don't sell peanuts." The duck leaves.
Next day, duck walks into the bar, "I want to buy some peanuts." Bar tender replies, "I already told you I don't sell peanuts!" The duck leaves.
Next day, the duck walks into the bar, "I want to buy some peanuts!" Bar tender yells back, "I told you, I don't sell peanuts! If you ask one more time, I'll nail you to the wall!" So the duck leaves.
Next day, the duck walks into the bar, "Do you have any nails?" Bar tender says, "Sorry, don't have nails." Duck asks, "I want to buy some peanuts."
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Old 09-27-2014, 09:41 PM   #171
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Old 12-28-2014, 03:48 PM   #172
Cocoanut Koala
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UCLA STUDY

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that
the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on
where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest with a bat up his ass while he is on fire. No further studies are expected on this subject.
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This user agrees. But then, who wouldn't, right?
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