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Old 10-14-2014, 11:55 AM   #1841
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That wasn't the one that went to the planet Pluto was it?
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Old 10-14-2014, 05:05 PM   #1842
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I'll only say this once, cuz I don't want to argue about it, but...

Fuck Pluto.

Fuck Pluto and its non-planetary ass.

If Pluto's a planet then there's a few dozen thousand other planets out there, and fuck if I'm gonna count them all.

Fucker's barely completed a third of its orbit since its discovery....you call that a planet? I call it fuckin' lazy.

So yeah...fuck Pluto tryin' to be a planet...if there's ever a vote that I'm allowed on, I'll vote 247 times to keep it a non-planet.

There...I feel better.

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Old 10-15-2014, 09:39 AM   #1843
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Old 10-15-2014, 11:40 AM   #1844
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Nah, just correct
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Old 10-16-2014, 10:16 AM   #1845
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How come you aren't upset about Venus or Uranus? (Your anus, not mine :-)

Venus rotated almost 90 degrees from its orbit instead of tilted like the rest of the plants and Uranus rotates tilted flat! That's no way for a planet to act.

And one plant (Uranus I think but can't remember) rotates backwards from the rest!

Where is your outrage now?

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Old 10-16-2014, 10:53 AM   #1846
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How come you aren't upset about Venus or Uranus? (Your anus, not mine :-)

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Old 10-18-2014, 01:42 AM   #1847
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Lockheed Martin thinks it can give the world unlimited clean energy in 20 years

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Remember back in the '50s, when official-sounding newsreels promised that we'd have new-kew-lur-powered cars by the '70s and no one would ever be unhappy? Probably not, since we've gotten a skewed sense of history from watching too many episodes of Futurama. Still, several decades behind schedule, the promise of clean and unlimited energy might finally be looming upon the horizon, thanks to Lockheed Martin. The defense behemoth believes that it might have a working prototype of its Compact Fusion Reactor in a decade, which might just save the world as we know it.
So, it sounds like the world may be completely changing within a couple/few decades.

I imagine it would be hard not to understate what this could mean.
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And when Kick says "fuck no" you know it's FUCK NO!
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Old 10-22-2014, 01:22 PM   #1848
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Dude caught after dodging theft rap for two years

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Alan Knight of Swansea, Wales, stole more than 40,000 pounds ($64,000) from the bank account of an elderly neighbor with Alzheimer's disease, prosecutors said.

When police began investigating, the 47-year-old Knight claimed to be quadriplegic and so sick he sometimes fell into a coma. He checked himself into a hospital to avoid court appearances, saying he was having seizures.

The South Wales Evening Post reported Wednesday that the suspect's wife, Helen Knight, had written to the newspaper saying her husband had obtained a doctor's letter certifying he was "quadriplegic and in a comatose condition, bed-bound at home" after a neck injury.
"We've been through absolute hell and we're still going through hell," she wrote, according to the newspaper.

Knight's deceit was uncovered when police tracked the use of his supermarket card, and produced surveillance camera footage of him walking and driving.

Warned that the trial would go ahead whether he was present or not, Knight arrived at Swansea Crown Court Tuesday in a wheelchair and neck brace. Faced with the video evidence, he pleaded guilty to 19 counts of forgery, fraud and theft. His wife has not been charged with any offense.
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Old 10-22-2014, 10:47 PM   #1849
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Scientists: sex was invented in Scotland

No, seriously:

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An international team of researchers says a fish called Microbrachius dicki is the first-known animal to stop reproducing by spawning and instead mate by having sex.

The primitive bony fish, which was about 8cm long, lived in ancient lakes about 385 million years ago in what is now Scotland.

The research is published in the journal Nature.

Lead author Prof John Long, from Flinders University in Australia, said: "We have defined the very point in evolution where the origin of internal fertilisation in all animals began.

"That is a really big step."
So that's where it all started. On a probably dreary and rainy day in the Highlands, when two fish got bored and decided to mix it up a little.

Oh, and, speaking of doin' it in the water - fish can do that. Humans really should not.
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Old 10-22-2014, 10:56 PM   #1850
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Archaeologists digging at the site of a film set for DeMille's The Ten Commandments (the 1923 silent version) have discovered a huge intact sphinx prop. It's over 90 years old! It along with most of the rest of the tremendous set was left to be buried in sand after the movie was made. They had no "special effects" back then, so they actually built a whole huge Egyptian city, or at least a façade of one.
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Old 10-22-2014, 11:48 PM   #1851
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Family driven from home by spiders "bleeding from the walls"

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A family was driven from their suburban St Louis, Missouri home by up to 6,000 venomous spiders that fell from the ceiling and oozed from the walls.

Brian and Susan Trost bought the $450,000 (€354,000) home overlooking two golf holes at Whitmoor Country Club in Weldon Spring in October 2007 and soon afterward started seeing brown recluse spiders everywhere, The St Louis Post-Dispatch reported. Once when showering, Susan Trost dodged a spider as it fell from the ceiling and washed down the drain.

She said in 2012 the spiders “started bleeding out of the walls”, and at least two pest control companies were unable to eradicate the infestation.

The couple filed a claim in 2008 with their insurance company, State Farm, and a lawsuit against the home’s previous owners for not disclosing the brown recluse problem.

At a civil trial in St Charles County in October 2011, University of Kansas biology professor Jamel Sandidge — considered one of the nation’s leading brown recluse researchers — estimated that there were between 4,500 and 6,000 spiders in the home. Those calculations were made in the winter, when the spiders are least active.

The jury awarded the couple slightly more than $472,000, but the former owners declared bankruptcy, the insurance company still didn’t pay anything — and the couple moved out two years ago. The home, now owned by the Federal National Mortgage Association, was covered with nine tarps this week and workers filled it with a gas to kill the spiders and their eggs.

“There’ll be nothing alive in there after this,” said Tim McCarthy, president of the company hired to fix the problem once and for all.
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Old 10-23-2014, 11:05 AM   #1852
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Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....
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Old 10-23-2014, 03:10 PM   #1853
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Where's the "FUCK NO!" button?
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Old 10-23-2014, 05:50 PM   #1854
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...

Oh, and, speaking of doin' it in the water - fish can do that. Humans really should not.
I saw this story the other day. I just don't believe it. Those parts don't work that way. I mean, there can certainly be some suction, I suppose, but to the extent that you can't actually extricate yourself from her? Think about how vaginas actually work. They're pliable. They aren't like a static open space. When they aren't full of penis, they don't really have any open space at all. You need some sort of space to create a vacuum.

Plus, penises aren't exactly static in shape, either. Unless that guy was maintaining some sort of world record erection, his penis would have become flacid and managed to escape.

There's probably some pretty good reasons not to have sex under water. Unless you really trust the water, you're pretty much pistoning whatever bacteria and microbes are in the water into your girlfriend. Plus, natural lubrication isn't going to work right. Probably other reasons.
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Old 10-24-2014, 10:23 AM   #1855
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Where's the "FUCK NO!" button?
And when Kick says "fuck no" you know it's FUCK NO!
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:06 AM   #1856
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And when Kick says "fuck no" you know it's FUCK NO!
For however long it lasts, you are now quoted in my sig.




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Old 10-27-2014, 10:47 PM   #1857
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I saw this story the other day. I just don't believe it. Those parts don't work that way. I mean, there can certainly be some suction, I suppose, but to the extent that you can't actually extricate yourself from her? Think about how vaginas actually work. They're pliable. They aren't like a static open space. When they aren't full of penis, they don't really have any open space at all. You need some sort of space to create a vacuum.

Not to spend too much time thinking about this, but...I imagine that if the...err, canal...were partially filled with water by the action of...yeah; then after a certain point interior volume would expand and make a fluid-filled space, but with a seal tight enough for no additional water to enter while the man was withdrawing, it could result in a vacuum.
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Old 10-27-2014, 10:48 PM   #1858
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I kind of feel guilty about this story because I've joked about doing something very much like it...although not on a plane or at an airport, and using the name of a Federal agency rather than a terrorist organization. But still.
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Old 10-28-2014, 09:50 AM   #1859
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Humans Have Smelled Our First Comet — And It Smells Terrible

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Mix together the bitter smell of almonds, the sour odor of rotten eggs, the dank aroma of horse stable, the pungent aroma of formaldehyde, the biting scent of alcohol all together and voila: comet perfume.
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Old 10-28-2014, 09:57 AM   #1860
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Ultrasound makes hologram keyboard touchy-feely

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Now thin air can be a touchscreen. Yasuaki Monnai and his team at the University of Tokyo have created a virtual screen you can feel. Called HaptoMime, it uses reflective surfaces to create a holographic display.

Now imagine the idea expanded to cover an entire room.
Combine that with Microsofts RoomAlive and we have a Holodeck 1.0 that we can actually physically feel around us!


Hmm... that makes one wonder... do holosexuals feel it?
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Old 10-28-2014, 11:55 AM   #1861
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Not to spend too much time thinking about this, but...I imagine that if the...err, canal...were partially filled with water by the action of...yeah; then after a certain point interior volume would expand and make a fluid-filled space, but with a seal tight enough for no additional water to enter while the man was withdrawing, it could result in a vacuum.
It's all nonsense. Humans have been enjoying this form of water sports for an estimated millions of years. Something else went wrong, probably the same thing that has happened on dry land on very rare occasions.
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Old 10-28-2014, 11:20 PM   #1862
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Old 10-28-2014, 11:21 PM   #1863
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Jose Canseco (yeah, that one) has accidentally shot himself in the hand while cleaning a gun.
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Old 10-28-2014, 11:27 PM   #1864
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A judge has dismissed Manuel Noriega's lawsuit against the makers of Call of Duty:

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"This court concludes that Noriega's right of publicity is outweighed by defendants' First Amendment right to free expression," Judge William H. Fahey of the Los Angeles Superior Court said in an order Monday.

Noriega -- who's serving a prison sentence in Panama after being convicted of drug trafficking, money laundering and killing political opponents -- had argued that the 2012 video game "Call of Duty: Black Ops II" damaged his reputation.

Creators of the video game called the lawsuit "frivolous" and "absurd." They filed a motion to dismiss it, arguing that Noriega's portrayal in the game is protected by the Constitution.
"This ruling is an important victory and we thank the court for protecting free speech," said former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, attorney for video game creator Activision Blizzard Inc.

"This was an absurd lawsuit from the very beginning and we're gratified that in the end, a notorious criminal didn't win," Giuliani said in a statement Tuesday. "This is not just a win for the makers of 'Call of Duty,' but is a victory for works of art across the entertainment and publishing industries throughout the world."

Noriega, 80, filed the lawsuit in Los Angeles County Superior Court in July, arguing that his portrayal "as a kidnapper, murderer and enemy of the state" in the video game harmed his reputation. Since the company used his image and name, the lawsuit said Noriega was entitled to a share of the profits from the video game.
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Old 10-29-2014, 06:02 PM   #1865
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Wait... Rudy Giuliani is the attorney for Activision Blizzard Inc.???

O.o
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Old 10-29-2014, 07:46 PM   #1866
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Yup!

Or more specifically, Activision is one of the companies that are represented by his law firm, Bracewell & Giuliani LLP.
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Old 10-29-2014, 07:49 PM   #1867
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The Federal government has started paying Midwestern farmers and ranchers money to seed bee-friendly foliage on unused, fallow, and pasture land.

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"The future of America's food supply depends on honeybees, and this effort is one way USDA is helping improve the health of honeybee populations," Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack said in a statement Wednesday.

The government is focusing its efforts through the EQIP program on the five Midwest states because about two-thirds of the commercially managed honeybees spend their time there from June to September. The $4 million for fiscal 2015, which began Oct. 1, builds on $3 million approved in fiscal 2014, USDA spokesman Justin Fritscher said.

The federal government also is providing $8 million in similar incentives in those states through the Conservation Reserve Program, according to U.S. Sen. John Hoeven, D-North Dakoa, a member of the Senate Agriculture Committee.

"Significant progress has been made in understanding the factors that are associated with Colony Collapse Disorder and the overall health of honey bees, and this funding will allow us to work with farmers and ranchers to apply that knowledge over a broader area," said Vilsack.
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Old 10-29-2014, 08:10 PM   #1868
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British man trying to get "extreme pornography" law changed

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A bus driver wrongly accused of owning a film of a woman having sex with a tiger is trying to change the law on extreme pornography after a 14-month campaign to clear his name.

Andrew Holland, 51, suffered a heart attack, received hate mail and was targeted by vigilantes after being charged with possessing two videos that he was sent by friends as a joke.

He said he viewed one for just six seconds but the charges led to him being the subject of “widespread ridicule” and being mistakenly labelled a paedophile. After more than six months on bail, the charge of possession of an extreme pornographic image was dropped in December 2009 when prosecutors realised that the “animal” was a man dressed up in a tiger suit.

The Crown Prosecution Service said it only recognised that it was a man when the tiger was heard on the soundtrack saying “that’s grrrrrrreat”, like Tony the Tiger from Frosties’ breakfast cereal adverts.
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Old 10-29-2014, 09:10 PM   #1869
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Not to spend too much time thinking about this, but...I imagine that if the...err, canal...were partially filled with water by the action of...yeah; then after a certain point interior volume would expand and make a fluid-filled space, but with a seal tight enough for no additional water to enter while the man was withdrawing, it could result in a vacuum.
The thing is, vaginas are expandable - stretchy, like a balloon. The can accommodate things up to the size of a baby, then they shrink down until their volume is nothing. For a vacuum to form, you need static, or close to static volume, because then when you withdraw your plunger (or penis, in this case) the volume of the vessel remains the same, while the contents diminish to a point where the pressure outside exceeds the pressure inside. A vagina would just shrink in volume to accommodate the loss of the mass of the penis - even if it was a gigantic penis. There's no way to get a vacuum in something that can essentially shrink down to a zero volume. (yes, I know, the volume isn't ever actually zero, but for the purposes of this experiment it would be close enough).

Besides, if you just kept shoving water in her, she'd a) really not enjoy the experience all that much, and b) eventually the increase in pressure inside would force your penis out, having the opposite effect.


I know, I used words like penis and vagina. Go ahead and snicker.
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Old 10-29-2014, 10:17 PM   #1870
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The thing is, vaginas are expandable - stretchy, like a balloon. The can accommodate things up to the size of a baby, then they shrink down until their volume is nothing. For a vacuum to form, you need static, or close to static volume, because then when you withdraw your plunger (or penis, in this case) the volume of the vessel remains the same, while the contents diminish to a point where the pressure outside exceeds the pressure inside. A vagina would just shrink in volume to accommodate the loss of the mass of the penis - even if it was a gigantic penis. There's no way to get a vacuum in something that can essentially shrink down to a zero volume. (yes, I know, the volume isn't ever actually zero, but for the purposes of this experiment it would be close enough).
That's usually the way it works, BUT! - if some of that interior space is taken up by water. Unlike a gas, like air, liquids like water are not compressible or decompressible, meaning that they take up a fixed volume as long as they're present. So at some point the vagina (giggle) is accommodating both a penis (snerk) and a certain small quantity of water which keeps it from closing all the way when the former starts to be removed, so there's still interior volume left over that needs to be filled by something before the - uh, plunger - can be drawn out. The water creates a seal that keeps air (or any more water) from entering around the sides of the penis (snicker) - it's the same principle that allows suction cups to stick better to walls when wet. And, the idea of the suction cup also shows that you don't need a lot of interior volume at all for this to happen.

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I know, I used words like penis and vagina. Go ahead and snicker.
I don't know what you mean, I'm perfectly capable of handling mature subjokay lol
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Old 11-06-2014, 04:03 PM   #1871
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So this guy in Cape Coral, Florida bought a foreclosed home at auction. He visited it to have a look at the place and tidy it up, and found the body of the former owner, an old lady, and there's evidence that she may have been dead since 2011. The bank that had foreclosed on her property was completely unaware, of course, because they confiscate and resell properties sight-unseen. They don't even hire someone to go at least try to have a talk with the person they're foreclosing on. Kind of a fitting commentary on the foreclosure crisis if you ask me.

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Old 11-06-2014, 04:11 PM   #1872
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Don't you mean "nude" awakening?

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SAN FRANCISCO (KPIX 5) – A San Francisco couple received a rude awakening over the weekend. Police said a naked man broke into their home and attacked them.

Around 3 a.m. Sunday morning, folks on Brighton Avenue began to hear loud noises above their homes.

Several neighbors heard the sounds because apparently, the intruder was going rooftop to rooftop before he decided to settle on a yellow house. According to authorities, he broke a side window and then went inside an upper story of the house.

Police said the intruder was completely naked. He fought with the homeowner and bit him on the shoulder, then jumped into his wife’s bed and bit her on the leg.

Officers arrived quickly and took the intruder into custody. Neighbors said the burglar had to be restrained to a gurney and the intruder was screaming incoherently.

“He was crazy,” said Stephen Wong, an eyewitness. “I saw them take a guy out on a stretcher and put him in an ambulance.”

The suspect’s name has not been released.
Hmmm, I wonder if he was on drugs.
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Old 11-12-2014, 01:21 PM   #1873
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I think I know who did this. Meth would be the culprit.
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Old 11-12-2014, 01:47 PM   #1874
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According to news reports, two window washers are stuck hanging high up outside 1 World Trade after one of the cables on their platform broke. The platform is dangling by the remaining cable while the workers cling to it.



Workers are starting to cut through a window from the inside; it's somewhat complicated as it's not a simple piece of glass. But, they're working on it.
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Old 11-12-2014, 06:34 PM   #1875
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Yipes!

And to answer the question on all our minds of whether they're ok...

They train for this: Crews rescue World Trade Center window washers
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Emergency crews on Wednesday rescued two window washers who were trapped on a hanging platform dangling perilously at the 68th floor of the 1,776-foot One World Trade Center building in lower Manhattan.
Rescue workers used a diamond saw to tear through three layers of glass panes -- the thickest nearly two inches -- to pull the workers to safety about 2:15 p.m., authorities said.
The men were taken to Bellevue Hospital Center with mild hypothermia, police said.
A bunch more info is in the article.
Including a video of the harrowing event.
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Old 11-22-2014, 02:29 AM   #1876
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So, I saw this earlier tonight.
Figure I'll drop it here...

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Old 11-22-2014, 12:29 PM   #1877
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Is it going to be built? I'd want to be sure to have an empty bladder before riding that one. That first turn, where the bank is reversed and you'd feel like you were trying to fly up and out of your seat at the very top of the skyscraper would do for me, and that's just the beginning.
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Old 11-22-2014, 10:39 PM   #1878
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Apparently it's supposed to open in 2017.
It's at some new place called Skyplex.

Here's more info:
World's tallest roller coaster set to scrape Orlando's skies
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The Skyscraper will be part of a $250 million entertainment complex planned for Orlando's International Drive called Skyplex, which includes an indoor theme park.
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Old 11-23-2014, 06:32 PM   #1879
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With good planning, it will go up right next to one of the Orlando airport's glide paths. Think of the already giddy sensations that will be further enhanced by the fear that when you do get launched from the coaster car's seat into the air, that you will be sucked into the jet engine of a passing air liner.
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Old 11-23-2014, 07:28 PM   #1880
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You guys have fun. I'll stay at the base and hold all yer purses, souvenirs and cameras for ya.

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