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Old 11-12-2010, 02:11 AM   #121
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I like!

The only thing that's been distracting me is sometimes you say "Jacob" too often. I think.
That's interesting...in previous incarnations of my writing, I've been told that I used too many pronouns and needed to use the characters names more. Maybe I'm overcompensating now.
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Old 11-12-2010, 11:56 AM   #122
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That's interesting...in previous incarnations of my writing, I've been told that I used too many pronouns and needed to use the characters names more. Maybe I'm overcompensating now.
It may just be me, though!
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Old 11-15-2010, 10:33 PM   #123
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Another Monday night, another chapter of Dark Mercury: Book Zero.

You know the drill. Chapter 18 is the new one...

...and the main page still works if you need to catch up.

This chapter even comes with a lame disclaimer. Neat.
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Old 11-15-2010, 10:51 PM   #124
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Have you gotten to the Mango dance yet?
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Old 11-15-2010, 11:20 PM   #125
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Have you gotten to the Mango dance yet?
That happens somewhere between chapters 31 and 36, depending on how things go. Of course, if you don't read the chapters leading up the Mango Dance, you may not understand all of the subtle nuances of it.
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Old 11-16-2010, 12:49 AM   #126
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Regarding your disclaimer, I'm quite satisfied when the chapter ends. They don't all have to end with a Mango Dance, ya know
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Old 11-18-2010, 09:42 PM   #127
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What? Is that all I am to you, is some sort of novel-writing machine, here to pump out new reading material for you to peruse at your leisure? Yeah?

Awesome. That's kinda hot, actually.

Chapter 19 is up and ready for your hot, passionate reading. Or something.

The rest of the chapters are still there, too.

Enjoy!
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Old 11-22-2010, 10:25 PM   #128
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Apparently, Chapter 19 wasn't enough for you. You keep coming back for more, like I'm some sort of a machine!

I AM NOT A MACHINE!!!

Okay, yes I am. And the machine has posted Chapter 20. So read it.

Or, you know, read the other ones first. That would be nice, too.

P.S. Something cool happens in this one, too.

P.P.S. I am now off to finish Chapter 23.
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Old 11-24-2010, 03:47 AM   #129
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Good shit, yet again. You're doing a great job with progression of the story, keeping a quick enough pace to keep our interest, but lingering long enough to give us the info we need. (I didn't leave much of a comment there, but I'm not going to let any spoilers slip here either.)


And good job with continuing your "post something different each time" posts!
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Old 11-24-2010, 05:54 AM   #130
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Augie I like where this is going. Like I said before to keep me interested enough to comeback for more is tricky. I'm contiplating showing my pop this just to see what he thinks. He reads a ton more than me but I think this might be something that would interest him. Ill post back if I have him read it. Keep em coming

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Old 11-24-2010, 06:07 AM   #131
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Holy shit. I think I last left off at chapter 10. Sorry Augie. My downstairs bathroom has taken precedence but I promise to catch up soonest! (Maybe I can skylark on wed. morning while Trout is at court!)
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Old 11-24-2010, 02:53 PM   #132
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@Kick and Fester (which would make a great band name): Thanks, I'm glad you're still enjoying it.

@Fester (and really everyone else): Feel free to share the link with anyone you think will enjoy it. I'm all about getting more eyes on it.

@Oryx: Get back to reading!
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Old 11-24-2010, 02:55 PM   #133
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Hey Augie...

I don't get a lot of free time to sit at the computer (with a net connection). This makes it difficult to start into the book in blog form (though I think it is a brilliant idea, don't get me wrong). Is there any possibility (with some kind of easy tool) to pour it into a .pdf, or even a text file, to read offline?

Just a thought. If nothing occurs, I might be able to start in over the holidays in a few weeks. Looks exciting!
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Old 11-24-2010, 04:24 PM   #134
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Is there any possibility (with some kind of easy tool) to pour it into a .pdf, or even a text file, to read offline?
I would love to do that, just have a "The Story Thus Far" PDF I updated...even though it would keep my hit count down, and my ego is fragile.

I don't know how to have a downloadable file on Wordpress, but I'll look into it.

If you would like to shoot me your email address in an IM, I'd be honored to send it to your esteemed self personally.
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Old 11-24-2010, 04:44 PM   #135
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If you would like to shoot me your email address in an IM, I'd be honored to send it to your esteemed self personally.
Will do, but on the condition that this is the last item in your priority queue - you've got a lot more important things to do. And I'll go and visit the blog anyway, to keep your hit count / esteem level high...
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Old 11-24-2010, 06:21 PM   #136
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There's a joke about esteemed PMs in there somewhere, but it might be too soon.
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Old 11-24-2010, 06:52 PM   #137
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There's a joke about esteamyed PMs in there somewhere, but it might be too soon.
/fixed
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Old 11-25-2010, 11:41 PM   #138
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I know that it's some sort of holiday, but I'd be a turkey not to keep my posting schedule. So rather than skip it, I yam celebrating by stuffing another oversized chapter online.

Chapter 21 is available for you to digest.

As always, so are the rest of the chapters.

Enjoy it with a slice of
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Old 11-26-2010, 12:34 AM   #139
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Augie I hate to to even bring it up...but the paragraph where caroline realizes the other girl is leaving. You misspelled even, evrn. I only noticed cause it caused me to stumble.
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Old 11-26-2010, 12:36 AM   #140
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I know that it's some sort of holiday, but I'd be a turkey not to keep my posting schedule. So rather than skip it, I yam celebrating by stuffing another oversized chapter online.

Chapter 21 is available for you to digest.

As always, so are the rest of the chapters.

Enjoy it with a slice of
I'd click the pie button, but I'm too stuffed.
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Old 11-26-2010, 12:43 AM   #141
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Augie I hate to to even bring it up...but the paragraph where caroline realizes the other girl is leaving. You misspelled even, evrn. I only noticed cause it caused me to stumble.
Never feel bad about bringing stuff like that up.

Thank you! I'll fix it.

{ETA: Fixed it, thanks. }
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Old 11-26-2010, 01:52 PM   #142
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Augie I hate to to even bring it up...but the paragraph where caroline realizes the other girl is leaving. You misspelled even, evrn. I only noticed cause it caused me to stumble.
Spelling nazi!
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Old 11-26-2010, 03:35 PM   #143
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Spelling nazi!
inorite.
I really didnt want to say it cause well I cant spell.
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Old 11-27-2010, 09:01 PM   #144
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Never feel bad about bringing stuff like that up.
Well, in that case...

Quote:
This was not a problem Jacob had when he was homeless; merely finding way to survive had been challenge enough.
"finding a way"

Sorry, I just figured if it were my story, I'd want to know about those little cracks in the sidewalk too.


But more importantly... YAY Jacob! So glad that turned out the way it did!
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Old 11-27-2010, 11:58 PM   #145
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Well, in that case...



"finding a way"

Sorry, I just figured if it were my story, I'd want to know about those little cracks in the sidewalk too.


But more importantly... YAY Jacob! So glad that turned out the way it did!
Thank you, thank you. I try to catch all of these things by reading it aloud before posting it, but sometimes they still sneak through.



Off to fix that now.

Incidentally, the chapter I'm working on now is...gonna be pretty awesome, even though it's going to confuse a lot of people. It's an interlude between Chapters 24 and 25. :evilgrin:
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Old 11-29-2010, 01:27 AM   #146
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I like

Caught another typo:

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only a forty-two percent probability of their being any ill effects from removing the watch now
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Old 11-29-2010, 02:06 AM   #147
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I like

Caught another typo:
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Old 11-29-2010, 09:37 PM   #148
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Well, my proofreading minnions, teh tiem has come to get back to work. Hopefully their is some enjoyment for you in what your doing. Another character development focused chapter mostly, though there are a couple of good reveals hidden therein.

Chapter 22, posted and readable for your astute eyes to scan.

If, like some people, you are still on Chapter 10 or something, you can always start somewhere else.

Have at.
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Old 11-29-2010, 10:19 PM   #149
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Well, my proofreading minnions, teh tiem the time has come to get back to work. Hopefully their there is some enjoyment for you in what your you're doing. Another character development focused chapter mostly, though there are a couple of good reveals, hidden therein including a hidden theremin.
/fixed. What do I win?
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Old 11-29-2010, 10:34 PM   #150
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/fixed. What do I win?
Nothing. You missed one. You did find the theremin though, which was key.
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Old 11-29-2010, 10:40 PM   #151
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Nothing. You missed one. You did find the theremin though, which was key.
Fuck you on the "no prize", I'm old, I should get at least a can of Ensure as a sympathy token.

I've got two nights off of work this week, I'm going to try and do some marathon reading sessssions...
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Old 11-29-2010, 10:45 PM   #152
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You did find the theremin though, which was key.
Theremins don't play in a key, do they?
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Old 11-29-2010, 10:46 PM   #153
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Have we got to the mango dance yet?
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Old 11-30-2010, 12:30 AM   #154
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Theremins don't play in a key, do they?
Any and all keys. And all the others, as well.
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Old 12-01-2010, 03:34 PM   #155
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In celebration of my NaNoWriMo victory, and as a way of saying thanks to everyone who has been reading my blog-novel, there will be not one but TWO more updates this week. It is a two-part interlude, departing a bit from my normal writing, but existing in the same world. The first part of this is up now!

Interlude: Part One is presented for your viewing pleasure.
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Old 12-01-2010, 09:22 PM   #156
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Interesting....very interesting

My turn at finding typos

Day 11: "would like to me take computer classes" should be "would like me to take computer classes"
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Old 12-01-2010, 09:26 PM   #157
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Interesting....very interesting

My turn at finding typos

Day 11: "would like to me take computer classes" should be "would like me to take computer classes"


Thanks...*sigh*

(Edited to add: I must have been reading too much Wasted Engineer)
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Old 12-03-2010, 06:26 PM   #158
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And now, a message from Wasted Engineer* :

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wasted Engineer*
It is clear that if not having the dumb and climbdown shits, you would be able to read. Thusly, the recommendation is to the alerting that Interlude is concluding at Dark Mercury book website.

THE WRITINGS WITHOUT READERINGS IS SLAVERY, AND ILLEAGAL IN US! WILL REPORTING TO CALIFORNIA AUTHORITIES WHO WILL PUT PERPETRATORS IN JUSTICE!

Having clickness, you should see Interlude Part Too at present. If you are not dog of LindenLab, and not yet read of other parts, you would see to do catching up here.

Also, you are the fucking of the cockbelt.

Good day to you.


* Celebrity voices posting impersonated.
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Old 12-05-2010, 05:39 PM   #159
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Just finished the Interludes... left my main comments on the blog. In short, yay! Great stuff in there!

Since you love our nit-picking so much, here's some more:

Interlude 2
"[Alpha] had an Abyss-clique friend try to track me back, and thy the guy lost me every time."

There was one other small thing, but I forget what/where it was.
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Old 12-05-2010, 08:35 PM   #160
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Just finished the Interludes... left my main comments on the blog. In short, yay! Great stuff in there!

Since you love our nit-picking so much, here's some more:

Interlude 2
"[Alpha] had an Abyss-clique friend try to track me back, and thy the guy lost me every time."

There was one other small thing, but I forget what/where it was.
Thanks. The other thing you pointed out on your comment on-blog was actually a typo. I redacted part of your comment there to perhaps not give that fact away to other readers in the future...though the cat's out of the bag for at least 12 people...*sigh*
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