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Kick Frenzy attempts to write a novel in less than 3 weeks. [NaNoWriMo]
Old 11-09-2010, 10:04 PM   #1
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Default Kick Frenzy attempts to write a novel in less than 3 weeks. [NaNoWriMo]

Well, I've decided to attempt this "novel in a month" thing. I have no idea if I'll have any chance of meeting the deadline, but I'll give it a shot and see what happens. I barely ever finished anything I started writing, but I liked some of my stories and always looked forward to the day I kicked my butt hard enough.

That day has come.


Maybe.

We'll see.


Anyway, I've written two chapters (I know the length is not "chapter worthy", but the plan was to have them much longer starting with the next chapter), which are more introductory than meaty substance. I'm breaking a rule already, considering starting from scratch. But I think it's ok since I've posted nothing to the site and the amount of work is tiny (460 words) and I was just reading it again and it just seems so cliche and like I'll just get sick of it quickly.

So, before I continue writing, I'm presenting you with what little I have written. Kind of pinging the hive so I know where the honey is.

I present the first two (rather small) chapters of, "Holy Hell Hickly":
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1


Bonus points if you know this one. A man walks into a bar and sees a few people there. He orders a beer and drinks it. He leaves the bar and waits outside. Then some drunk comes out and asks him, “Hey man, whash you doin’?”

Then the first guy goes, “Ruining your night.”

Isn’t that fuckin’ hysterical?! I love that one. As a matter of fact I do it myself every now and again. I love the look on their face when it goes from “what do you mean?” to “WHAT THE FUCK?!?” as I go from a pat on the back to a crack of the neck.

Good night drunk man.
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2


“Holy Hell Hickly”, a slow grumble from the Deputy’s throat - his thick, somewhat unruly, moustache puffing out on each syllable as he rubbed his weariness along the stubbly, leather hide of his face. His cell phone was open with the speaker phone on, next to his morning cup of black coffee.

The voice from the other side crackled through, “Sounds like y’know ‘im, Jim. Y’got anythin’ that’ll help?”

“Not unless you know the devil”, Deputy James Calweld mumbled before adding, “Let me call you back in a bit, Diely. I still got the grog.” With that, Dep. Calweld closed his phone and lit a cigarette… drawing on it slowly, breathing the silence before kicking his gears into action.

Twenty minutes later Officer Jeremiah Diely was answering his phone, “Jim?”

“Yeah, it’s me. So, where did this murder happen again?”

“Over’n Screta, at The Basin. Just snapped th’ poor guy’s neck ‘n took off.”

The reply was just a drawn out, “Yeah”… a knowing lilt in the gravelly voice. “I know you guys want me over there, probably a good idea… should be there in about an hour. Oh, and Diely?”

“Yeah?”

“Try to have those guys leave the scene as is til I get there?”

“’K, Jim, I’ll try t’get it to ‘em.”

Deputy Calweld groaned as he shut the phone, knowing full well nothing will be “as was”. It wasn’t just a joke in the movies; most times the important cases were trampled on before anybody knew what was going on. Although, in the case of Hickly, there wouldn’t have been much by way of evidence anyway.

Swallowing the last of his coffee, Dep. Calweld turned off his computer and walked across the small dusty room. The floorboards creaking near the door, he grabbed his keys from the rack and headed for his cruiser. Shutting the door behind him, he called out, “Back tonight, Sonya.”

Sonya shook the glaze from her eyes as she managed, “Oh! Oh… um… k. I’ll um…”, trailing off as she saw a new IM pop up on her screen.

So, there it is. Sounds like it could be kind of fun, but really.. isn't it just a bit too common?
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Old 11-09-2010, 10:36 PM   #2
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I got confused as to who was talking during the conversation. Took me three times to realize that it was all from Calweld's point of view. I'm dense, I know.

The first two chapters are rather "common," as you say. Maybe make the first chapter a little fleshier - give us something to chew on. Is this a cop whodunit? A fantasy/sci fi? Give us a setting. Time/place sort of thing?
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Old 11-09-2010, 10:51 PM   #3
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You mean this part? I'll mark it here and see if that makes more sense?

Quote:
Calweld - “Yeah, it’s me. So, where did this murder happen again?”

Diely - “Over’n Screta, at The Basin. Just snapped th’ poor guy’s neck ‘n took off.”

Calweld - The reply was just a drawn out, “Yeah”… a knowing lilt in the gravelly voice. “I know you guys want me over there, probably a good idea… should be there in about an hour. Oh, and Diely?”

Diely - “Yeah?”

Calweld - “Try to have those guys leave the scene as is til I get there?”

Diely - “’K, Jim, I’ll try t’get it to ‘em.”
Thanks for letting me know it got confusing, a definite help!

And I'm not sure where it was headed. At first it was just going to be a horror, for a moment it might've been a supernatural/superpower vs evil guy story, then it was going to be an "Old cop knows stuff/Mysterious killer on the loose... again", then I was toying with a near-future, backwoods background but decided probably not, but it made me think to remember technology is all over the fucking place.

So,not sure where it was headed... but when I started thinking it was too common, it felt like it was headed towards "can't-catch-him bad guy vs. grizzly cop who crossed paths with him before" story... which is where it felt too rote.
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:41 AM   #4
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Very much more sense.

I think the neck-breaker guy should be some creepy sub-demon, like pissed off that he's been delegated to Detroit or wherever. (Your hometown would be better, that way you could stick in familiar landmarks.)

Calweld could stay your grizzled cop, but now he has to face something altogether new to him? He has to get into religion/the occult/etc against his will to catch this demon thingy?

LOL. It's nearly 2 a.m. and I've got a wine buzz. Silly stuff.
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:27 PM   #5
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I was playing with an idea along those lines. Like he's possessed, or part demon, or something along those lines... and the Deputy tangled with him years ago maybe.

Not sure if I'll stick with this one or not though...
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:46 PM   #6
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Well you're ten days into it.

I challenge you!
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