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But I just stood there...
Old 05-08-2014, 12:10 PM   #1
Kick Frenzy
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Default But I just stood there...

So, I'm starting this thread based off of Ios post from Nobody Cares:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Io Zeno View Post
Things that make me nuts:

Reading people's stories online, blogs, reviews whatever and they tell a tale of abuse, rudeness and people acting like unbelievable assholes toward them in general, or because of something about them they don't like (because they are fat or whatever).

And nearly always at the end of these tales they say, "but I just stood there", "I was so upset but didn't say anything", "I ran home and cried" etc. etc.

Honestly, I have to think these people just have "victim" written in invisible ink on their foreheads for the assholes of the world to know they can abuse them at will and they will just take it like a rug they can wipe their feet on. I've really, really started to lose sympathy and/or belief, even, in these tales of woe. Grow a backbone or just give up, for the love of god, you aren't a helpless child who can't do anything to stop some stranger from abusing you.

After which I clicked a "Disagree" and then saw this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Io Zeno View Post
And Kick disagrees and doesn't respond.

I'm surrounded by passive aggressives.

I'm gonna pause here for a sec and explain something.
The reason, Io, that I didn't respond is because I've never posted in any Nobody Cares thread and have this OCD twitch that prevents me from ending that years long streak.

Sorry bout that.

So, getting back to the topic at hand...
Coco posted this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cocoanut Koala View Post
The posters/bloggers might have several reasons for remaining silent during the "assault," then going online later to share their feelings/bleet about it:

1) Fear.

2) Shock.

3) Uncertainty.

4) Personality.
And that is why I initially clicked "Disagree", simply because there are plenty of times when it has nothing to do with some sort of victim complex or enjoying being fucked with.


I'd like to give an example of the "Shock" response:

Once upon a time, I was out taking the dog for a walk.
When passing by the dumpsters, I saw a man throwing stuff in the garbage from the back of his pick up truck.
We got into a small "hello, how ya doin" conversation.
Somehow, at some point, this guy thought it was a good idea to warn me (with a lowered voice) of all the black people (he used the infamous "n word") around and how they couldn't be trusted.

My response?
I did a quick nod before I'd even realized what he'd said.
Then, realizing what he'd said, was disgusted.
At this point, I went blank... no concept of talking and just walked away.

After the shock wore off, of course I was thinking of all the things I would have liked to have said to him.
I felt really guilty for not saying anything, not just because he's an ace but because my wife is half black.


So, while I believe that it's great to stick up for yourself, I also realize that in many instances it's not a weakness of character that keeps one from doing so.
Many times it's shock, fear or whatever (as Coco already mentioned) at the weakness of character of someone else.
Going online to talk about it later is a release for the "Damn, I shoulda" moments that inevitably come as soon as you've had an extra minute to think about it in retrospect.
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