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Old 03-27-2012, 10:47 PM   #57
Elora Lunasea
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Rahway, NJ
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Oh I have a dog and tampon story too!

So when I was in my 20's I had an abortion. That's not the funny part.

I went to recoup at the home of the guy who knocked me up - a gay guy who had not yet come out of the closet.

You may now laugh

Ok, so anyway - we're young, and stupid and what better way to celebrate an abortion then by inviting all your friends over to get drunk, stoned and stupid while your NOT-GIRLFRIEND lays in your bedroom feeling like shit?

So, at some point I go to the bathroom to change the napkin - and in those days - napkins were not like they are now - they were big, huge, bulky affairs - and discard the old one in the trash. Head back to bed.

I'm laying there, trying hard to sleep and suddenly I heard intense laughter coming out from the living room. I drag myself out of bed, because I really wanted to see what was going on. Only to find that Mr. Not-A-Daddy's Samoyed had dragged the mega-bloody-napkin out from the trash, into the living room, deposited herself in the middle of the room and started to tear the thing to shreds.

Everyone was in hysterics. To say I was mortified is putting it mildly. Wished for a hole in the floor to open and swallow me. Ran back to the bedroom with gales of laughter ringing in my ears.

That taught me a lesson. I never forgot birth control ever again.

I also started using tampons.
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