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-   -   The Comings and Goings of Mero (http://www.secondcitizen.net/Forum/showthread.php?t=15551)

Oryx Tempel 06-11-2012 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joy Honey (Post 436517)
Until you are able to own up to ever being wrong, your daughter is getting all kinds of wrong messages from you. "It's ok if this guy treats me as less than human, my dad does it to other people." If you think that this could not happen with your daughter, think again. She is not only modeling your behavior, she's also seeing that how you treat people is a valid way to be treated. Just something for you to think about.

:qft:

Cocoanut Koala 06-11-2012 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merovigan (Post 436549)
I dropped about $5,000 on my teeth this year. She's not wrong about what sugar does to your teeth, she's wrong for not having enough money to care for her body. That's my main issue with her; how it wasn't really her fault. "Listen to mom and dad" my ass - teeth are expensive; get paid so you don't have bad ones.

I don't know that she is a good worker, Coco. You don't either. You know she's a worker. She might be the lazy slack ass who just socializes all day ... hey ... she's a sixty something working a register! It's LIKELY that she's a slack ass who just socializes all day.

I could have just eaten the feelings, laughed and nodded, but I didn't have to. I dunno - I admit to feeling bad, and some shame, but I think I might have felt worse not being honest with both of them. She has bad teeth because she's poor. That's what poor people look like. Rich people don't, usually, because they have the money to pay for good teeth. This is the lesson I took from it, and the lesson I hoped to teach - look at people's teeth, it's an indicator of wealth and self-pride and self-love.

Maybe your generation ended up with bad teeth. Mine gets veneers.

And finally, yes, you should have just EATEN the feelings, laughed, and nodded.

But what the fuck was there to "eat?" Your feelings should have been nothing but gratitude, that you don't have bad teeth, that you aren't sixty-something, that you don't have to work as a cashier, and that you have more money than they do.

That's the "honesty" you should be striving to achieve in yourself.

And then you should have kept that shit to yourself, and mentioned it only to your daughter later.

You have taken the wrong lesson from the whole thing. And you are imparting the entirely wrong lessons to your daughter.

---

I think the whole deal was that the cashier was talking about sugars - which, by the way, among NORMAL people, MOST parents would be GRATEFUL to have someone reinforcing that lesson, you dolt - and you had those sodas in your basket made you feel embarrassed, and like your authority as a parent was being challenged. (Which it wasn't, the cashier had no idea that you were perversely proud of "WE eat sugar" or some such nonsense.)

So you got all huffy and defensive, and put her DOWN, right in her place where she BELONGED, right? And now you are trying to justify it to us, to your daughter, and, more importantly, to yourself, and it is flying in exactly none of these realms.

---

Her being a good worker or not has exactly jack and shit to do with the whole thing. She's obviously not rolling in dough, and has bad teeth, and is working a job you would rather not be caught dead doing.

That is the point. She's doing honest work for honest money, and if you don't respect that, then I don't respect you. At all. And you have no discernible ideology.

As for her being a sixty-something woman working a register, WTF is wrong with you? Some people don't HAVE the education (or the ability) to do more.

Or, she could have done something else earlier in life, and turned to this like older people turn to being WalMart greeters.

LIKELY that she is a slack-ass all day, you say? I DON'T THINK SO. YOU want to stand there at a cash register all day, lifting groceries? I don't think there is THING ONE about being slack-ass about that job.

In addition, she is a friendly person, and is EXPECTED to be, you freak. It's part of her job description.

Unless you go back to apologize to her, I suggest you never go back to that store again, because chances are the entire store now knows about you as schmuck of the year, if not the decade.

----

You would not have felt worse if you hadn't been "honest" with them. You feel bad about it because you know you should. Nothing would have been lost if you had tabled the whole deal till you got home with your daughter.

After all, if she is nothing to you, why do you feel a need to be "honest" with her? For Pete's sake.

People don't have bad teeth because they are poor. They have them because of heredity, diet, priorities, AGE, and other factors. There are plenty of poor people (especially young ones) with good teeth, and richer ones without, and I know you know that, since you've hedged around about it.

"This is the lesson I took from it, and the lesson I hoped to teach - look at people's teeth, it's an indicator of wealth and self-pride and self-love."

That's a stupid fucking lesson to try to teach anybody, as well as totally innacurate. The only lesson you need to teach your daughter is to take care of her teeth, which hardly calls for this sort of (cruel) overkill, that teachers her only to treat people like shit, because they don't COUNT, have NO feelings, and aren't even really people.

What someone else commented on upthread also bears repeating - that it teaches her such behavior is acceptable, even when turned against herself in the future, by men.

---

Finally, you have bad feelings. Now accept them, and work on them. You can be a better person than all this. Don't fight them, because you are really just fighting the good guy inside you.

P.S. If you went back and apologized to her, you would find it amazing how much better that would make you feel. And you would listen to her accepting your apology graciously, and learn just a tiny bit of what she has to offer.

Lucifer Baphomet 06-11-2012 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cocoanut Koala (Post 436584)
Finally, you have bad feelings. Now accept them, and work on them. You can be a better person than all this. Don't fight them, because you are really just fighting the good guy inside you.

Excellent post , Coco, till you got to here.

I used to think that too, but after a few years I realised that Mero had not only flicked Jiminy Cricket off of his shoulder and stood on him, he'd repeatedly jumped up and down on him.

Cocoanut Koala 06-11-2012 06:38 PM

I've got teeth on my mind. We go to the dentist tomorrow.

Merovigan 06-11-2012 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cocoanut Koala (Post 436584)
Your feelings should have been nothing but gratitude, that you don't have bad teeth, that you aren't sixty-something, that you don't have to work as a cashier, and that you have more money than they do.

Yeah. That.

I think I posted this because I knew I was wrong but needed to read something like the above. I have real trouble dealing with the feeling that it could all go away in an instant, because I know it can, and I forget to just ENJOY it. Accept it, believe that this all really is happening, and stop trying to defend it so much. I could have been magnanimous and I was cold, instead.

Thank you.

Don't get me wrong tho, I don't agree with everything you said. But the above was worth going through the wringer for. No one in real life would have told me this, and that's why I share.

Lucifer Baphomet 06-11-2012 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cocoanut Koala (Post 436587)
I've got teeth on my mind. We go to the dentist tomorrow.

You're braver than me.

Despite the fact I live in a country where I can get my dental work done free, My teeth are a mess, because I'm severely phobic about dentists.

Hell, I've even extracted teeth myself with pliers to avoid them.

Cocoanut Koala 06-11-2012 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merovigan (Post 436589)
Yeah. That.

I think I posted this because I knew I was wrong but needed to read something like the above. I have real trouble dealing with the feeling that it could all go away in an instant, because I know it can, and I forget to just ENJOY it. Accept it, believe that this all really is happening, and stop trying to defend it so much. I could have been magnanimous and I was cold, instead.

Thank you.

Don't get me wrong tho, I don't agree with everything you said. But the above was worth going through the wringer for. No one in real life would have told me this, and that's why I share.

:)

Now just fix it with your daughter as best you can, and think next time before you do something like that.

Cocoanut Koala 06-11-2012 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucifer Baphomet (Post 436590)
You're braver than me.

Despite the fact I live in a country where I can get my dental work done free, My teeth are a mess, because I'm severely phobic about dentists.

Hell, I've even extracted teeth myself with pliers to avoid them.

I'm phobic about them, too (though not as badly as you). My worst experience ever was a root canal when the tooth wasn't actually DEAD.

My hand flew up to knock the dentist's hand away, and he actually got MAD at me about it, though I had nothing whatsoever to do with that reaction. It was entirely autonomous.

You wanna talk about pain. That was in NYC, years ago, with a dentist who was supposed to be good, recommended to me by my boss. Never do I ever hope to experience such pain again.

What helps is laughing gas. I actually look forward to that! I would do NOTHING without that, though it costs extra!

Anyway, it is only for a cleaning. But I'm a terrible pansy about it. I've had the same dentist since I moved to Atlanta, along with my husband, and then he retired and now we've got his partner.

We always go together these days because we've moved farther, and it is a long drive on Atlanta freeways, and I'm usually too beaten up to handle the drive back. (And I don't really do drives of those lengths these days anyway - though I would if there an Archiver's 100 miles away suddenly had a 90% off sale or something!)

Also, I hate getting lectured about flossing, etc.

Oryx Tempel 06-11-2012 07:20 PM

BTW, bad teeth can happen at any time. Trout and his siblings had a privileged upbringing, with all the good stuff that comes with it, including dental care. His brother recently went through pancreatic and kidney failure, and for some reason that TOTALLY fucked up his teeth, to the point that they broke off in his mouth and rotted from the inside out. Only now, a year later, is he able to get root canals and caps, so that he can smile again. He's extremely self-conscious about it, and is miserable about the whole situation.

If you had chosen to talk shit like that to my brother-in-law, Mero, especially without knowing the whole situation, I'd fucking hit you myself.

Tout 06-11-2012 07:31 PM

I dropped about $5,000 on my teeth this year. She's not wrong about what sugar does to your teeth, she's wrong for not having enough money to care for her body. That's my main issue with her; how it wasn't really her fault. "Listen to mom and dad" my ass - teeth are expensive; get paid so you don't have bad ones.

Without getting too personal, I find 5000 bucks for your teeth bridge is a lot considering you are just 33years old. I am sure you know that you have to wash your teeth every time after you eat, or drink some sodas and that you must go to a dentist every 6 months for inspection, and there is good treatment against periodontal disease too, Mouth hygiene is very important.

Merovigan 06-11-2012 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tout (Post 436598)
I dropped about $5,000 on my teeth this year. She's not wrong about what sugar does to your teeth, she's wrong for not having enough money to care for her body. That's my main issue with her; how it wasn't really her fault. "Listen to mom and dad" my ass - teeth are expensive; get paid so you don't have bad ones.

Without getting too personal, I find 5000 bucks for your teeth bridge is a lot considering you are just 33years old. I am sure you know that you have to wash your teeth every time after you eat, or drink some sodas and that you must go to a dentist every 6 months for inspection, and there is good treatment against periodontal disease too, Mouth hygiene is very important.

One of my molars needed work and the gumline is too shallow. Had to have it cut down to fit a crown on it. Plus a root canal, and a few fillings. Shit adds up but yeah, I haven't taken care of my teeth.

Probably factored into my response.

Merovigan 06-11-2012 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oryx Tempel (Post 436595)

If you had chosen to talk shit like that to my brother-in-law, Mero, especially without knowing the whole situation, I'd fucking hit you myself.

And you would have gotten away with it, too.

Tout 06-11-2012 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merovigan (Post 436601)
One of my molars needed work and the gumline is too shallow. Had to have it cut down to fit a crown on it. Plus a root canal, and a few fillings. Shit adds up but yeah, I haven't taken care of my teeth.

Probably factored into my response.

In Germany for example we do not have to pay for the dentist it is free if you do not miss your 6 months inspection, we have a small booklet tamponed, if you miss one the social security drop you and you are on your own with the bill.
But I believe US citizens are against Social security and do not want follow your president in this case

Cocoanut Koala 06-11-2012 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tout (Post 436606)
we have a small booklet tamponed, if you miss one the social security drop you and you are on your own with the bill.

That must be uncomfortable.

Tout 06-11-2012 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cocoanut Koala (Post 436607)
That must be uncomfortable.

Bills are always uncomfortable.:)

Lucifer Baphomet 06-11-2012 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tout (Post 436606)
In Germany for example we

I thought you were French?!?!

Tout 06-11-2012 08:11 PM

My dentist is German, and i have a German social security number.:omfg:

Trout 06-11-2012 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oryx Tempel (Post 436595)
BTW, bad teeth can happen at any time. Trout and his siblings had a privileged upbringing, with all the good stuff that comes with it, including dental care. His brother recently went through pancreatic and kidney failure, and for some reason that TOTALLY fucked up his teeth, to the point that they broke off in his mouth and rotted from the inside out. Only now, a year later, is he able to get root canals and caps, so that he can smile again. He's extremely self-conscious about it, and is miserable about the whole situation.

If you had chosen to talk shit like that to my brother-in-law, Mero, especially without knowing the whole situation, I'd fucking hit you myself.

Oryx wouldn't hit you herself.

My brother is a welder by profession. He lifts used farm equipment all day and turns it into new farm equipment by welding giant chunks of steel to it. He's got shoulders like an NFL linebacker. I love him, but he's about as redneck as you can get. If you made a comment like that to him, Oryx would be too busy dialing 911 to get you an ambulance to hit you herself. On the plus side, you would apparently have plenty of cash to pay for the dental work you'd need.

The question I have is, would you have talked like that to him? I'm guessing you wouldn't. You might think that, but only an idiot would pick a fight with someone that much bigger and stronger than them. (I'm guessing he is because you've said elsewhere that you aren't terribly tall and you're overweight - no judgment there. I'm average height and above average girth myself.) It's pretty easy to trash a 60 year old woman. What's she going to do? It's like beating up a 5-year-old. Is it ok to hurt her to make yourself feel better just because she's powerless? If you wouldn't address someone that had the power to knock you senseless that way, then you're just doing it because they have no recourse, and that makes you a bully.

It sounds from the way you're talking here that she made you feel like your authority or your decision making ability was being challenged, and that because of your position in life, you feel superior to her. She got uppity, and you felt like you had to assert your authority to knock her back into place. I'm not so sure from what I'm reading that you saw this as a lesson for your daughter as much as it was imperative for you to justify your view about how your money makes you better than her.

Of course, I absolutely suck as an armchair psychologist, so I might be wrong, but that's my read. She challenged your superiority, and you have so much of your self-worth wrapped up into this notion that you are better than everyone else that you had to answer that challenge.

If I had hurt someone as badly as you hurt her, I would make it my business to go back there and sincerely apologize. Sometimes you have to sack up and take responsibility for doing something wrong, and you were WAY out of line on this one. You're entitled to have whatever beliefs you want, but smashing someone like that just to make yourself feel better about your self worth is where you cross the line.








Now that I think of it, it's sort of scary that my little brother, who I used to beat up, can now very likely kick my ass into oblivion. If I kick him in the knee hard enough, I can probably outrun him, though.

Io Zeno 06-11-2012 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merovigan (Post 436589)
Yeah. That.

I think I posted this because I knew I was wrong but needed to read something like the above. I have real trouble dealing with the feeling that it could all go away in an instant, because I know it can, and I forget to just ENJOY it. Accept it, believe that this all really is happening, and stop trying to defend it so much. I could have been magnanimous and I was cold, instead.

Thank you.

Don't get me wrong tho, I don't agree with everything you said. But the above was worth going through the wringer for. No one in real life would have told me this, and that's why I share.

Stop it.

Stop lying and treating people like your puppets.

Stop trolling and then acting contrite and humble when you are nothing of the sort.

When are you going to get tired of this pathetic game and grow the fuck up.

Ayu Sura 06-11-2012 08:41 PM

I get the feeling Mero gets a kick out of this - like he's the maestro conducting SC reactions.

Joy Honey 06-11-2012 08:43 PM

I bet he didn't expect the Cocobomb.

Trout 06-11-2012 09:18 PM

Nobody expects the Cocobomb

http://gretachristina.typepad.com/.a...55cc970c-800wi

Io Zeno 06-11-2012 09:18 PM

Look, I was schooled by the Master. :mulch:

Mero has gotten good. Very good.

I think he needs to move on to bigger hunting grounds and prove his chops with a new bunch of rubes, ones that don't know him, in a bigger forum.

Then come back and show us what you've got.

Because I, for one, can set a clock to this. It's getting repetitive and predictable Mero.

You may want to do a search for Mulch's Trolling Manifesto on the forum and learn a few things before you move on.

You certainly have the push/pull, get trust/betray trust game down. Time to move your game up.

Bard Jameson 06-12-2012 12:45 AM

Note to self: Do NOT piss off the Coco.

:p

Cale Vinson 06-12-2012 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tout (Post 436606)
In Germany for example we do not have to pay for the dentist it is free if you do not miss your 6 months inspection, we have a small booklet tamponed, if you miss one the social security drop you and you are on your own with the bill.
But I believe US citizens are against Social security and do not want follow your president in this case

Cale's list of scary things she's read on Teh Innertubz:

#1 (and holding steady): The thought of "Mero, PI".

#2 The very idea of a German dentist. "Don't mention ze root-canal!"

#3 Coco in war-path mode.

And I'm thinking of swapping (2) and (3). :p

Tout 06-12-2012 05:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucifer Baphomet (Post 436611)
I thought you were French?!?!

Hey wait a mn..

Tout. Io..IO are you here?

Io. What' up are you in trouble again?

Tout. not at all just........Are we French?

Io. Who is asking?

Tout. your Mod!

Io. Tell him he may F--- himself with a screwdriver.

Tout. Ouch i will.

Io. Wait tell him he can use just a small one for electric use, i need him a little more.

Tout. Will do...grins

Tout. Luc? i suggest you can go f--- yourself with a tiny screwdriver!

Morgaine Alter 06-12-2012 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bard Jameson (Post 436655)
Note to self: Do NOT piss off the Coco.

:p

Can you imagine if she were your mom!

Cale Vinson 06-12-2012 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Io Zeno (Post 436628)
You certainly have the push/pull, get trust/betray trust game down. Time to move your game up.

I figure ya just ride the wave, ya know?

There's sometimes some interesting stuff to think about in the crests, and then you just hop off in the troughs.

Strangely-Californian Cale






ps. Then again, I often find interesting stuff in Prok's writing too, so perhaps I'm simply :loco:

Bard Jameson 06-12-2012 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cale Vinson (Post 436672)

ps. Then again, I often find interesting stuff in Prok's writing too, so perhaps I'm simply :loco:

Sometimes, a mound of shit sprouts a flower.

Oryx Tempel 06-12-2012 11:42 AM

Whatevs. I'm disgusted at this point. Mero's lack of empathy for anyone else is going to slap him in the face when, 60 years down the road, his daughter will refuse to help him because he's no longer a productive member of society, and that's the way he raised her. Reap what you sow and all that.

Learn to be human before it's too late, Mero. Until then, sayonara.

Cocoanut Koala 06-12-2012 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morgaine Alter (Post 436666)
Can you imagine if she were your mom!

One's OWN kids will not listen to one once they are teenagers; whereas they WILL listen to others, and other's kids will listen to you. It's complicated.

However I will say that the WORST offense they could do when they were growing up was to treat someone unkindly. I would get hugely bent out of shape.

I remember once at Disney World, the littler one wouldn't give up her seat to an older woman while waiting in the room that you wait in before Lion King.

I grabbed her and dragged her into the anteroom before that, and in front of God and everybody, told her she would not EVER keep her seat when an older person was there. She was horrified! Mom was making a scene! (Only a few passing people heard, really, but I did NOT care.)

I'm sure they were unkind, bullying, etc., sometimes to other kids when I wasn't around. But they didn't dare to do such a thing in front of me, EVER. Ever, ever, not ever.

We were at one of his sister's house once, and I discovered my older girl, who was about two at the time, was being tormented by the other girls - who were all older - who kept her outside the door where they were playing with some kind of ruse. They would make her do things, yet never let her in.

She kept coming downstairs to try to explain it. Finally it was clear to us what she was saying.

What did the sister-in-law do? She said, "Well, kids will be kids."

Fuck THAT shit! My kids would NEVER do such a thing to another kid in front of me, or they'd hear the total wrath of my impassioned and lengthy lectures.

Now that they're older, though, it's a whole different deal. They are very nice to everyone, though, so I think it took.

Surreal 06-12-2012 02:54 PM

Wow, just wow.

One of these days someone Mero feels safe abusing is going to arrange for him to get both legs broken.

Govi 06-12-2012 05:53 PM

Can You Call a 9-Year-Old a Psychopath? By Jennifer Kahn, Published in the New York Times on May 11, 2012

Cocoanut Koala 06-12-2012 06:43 PM

They beat me up at the dentist. Had the cleaning, and there was some question about decay under a crown in the back. So took it off and prepped tooth and everything. I'm all beat up now.

Govi 06-12-2012 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cocoanut Koala (Post 436752)
They beat me up at the dentist. Had the cleaning, and there was some question about decay under a crown in the back. So took it off and prepped tooth and everything. I'm all beat up now.

:hug:

Joy Honey 06-12-2012 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Io Zeno (Post 436628)
Because I, for one, can set a clock to this. It's getting repetitive and predictable Mero.

are you saying it's his time of the month?


































:hidecouch:

Bard Jameson 06-13-2012 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Surreal (Post 436707)
Wow, just wow.

One of these days someone Mero feels safe abusing is going to arrange for him to get both legs broken.

On one hand, I would agree. But on the other, I think he is too crafty to make that mistake. He knows who he can bully safely - most bullies do. Unless he was strung out on PCP I can't imagine him taking on Trout's brother or anyone like that.

He knows how to pick his battles - the weak are always the best targets.

Surreal 06-13-2012 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bard Jameson (Post 436786)
On one hand, I would agree. But on the other, I think he is too crafty to make that mistake. He knows who he can bully safely - most bullies do. Unless he was strung out on PCP I can't imagine him taking on Trout's brother or anyone like that.

He knows how to pick his battles - the weak are always the best targets.

I was thinking of some of my less savory relatives - who would have found out his name from his credit card purchase of groceries and narrowed down the field until they knew who he was, where he lived, etc. Then pay back could have ranged from a dead pet strung up on the front porch to a trip to the hospital.

Privacy is largely an illusion.

Morgaine Alter 06-13-2012 09:59 AM

I think he obviously have a small keyboard complex.

Morgaine Alter 06-13-2012 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Surreal (Post 436792)
I was thinking of some of my less savory relatives - who would have found out his name from his credit card purchase of groceries and narrowed down the field until they knew who he was, where he lived, etc. Then pay back could have ranged from a dead pet strung up on the front porch to a trip to the hospital.

Privacy is largely an illusion.

scary but true


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